It’s not about looking like SRK – you still get some smiles. But it’s time to settle down and meet someone you can spend your life with and you’re clueless about what goes on in a desi woman’s head.
Join the club! It’s an age old struggle of mankind to understand the inner workings of women. But no more.
Here are six things that desi women want in their man.
- Desi women want confidence – Without a doubt this is the number one quality every desi woman looks for. Being confident is easy – just be comfortable and remember that you’re also a catch.
- Desi women want humor – You don’t need to be Papa CJ and have well crafted jokes but don’t be boring and dull. For a desi woman I recommend being a little cocky + funny, and she’ll be interested.
- Desi women want security – Security doesn’t necessarily mean money but instead make her feel like you’ll always be there to take care of her both emotionally and in her old age.
- Desi women want to be the only one – Treat her like she’s the only one that matters in the world and she will love you forever. Do the little things like dropping her at the front door when she’s spent an hour getting ready and is wearing a saree, helping her shop, or holding the umbrella.
- Desi women want loyalty – Are you trustworthy? Show it by being reliable and respectful.
- Desi women want friendship – Listen to her and discuss with her. Care about what she says and engage her in conversation. Be there when it matters and even when it doesn’t.
So there are the six things you can do to attract the Desi woman of your dreams!
What about you? What do you think a desi woman wants? Let us know in the comments!
It's no secret that dating can be difficult, but did you know that there is a mathematically proven best way to date? In a 1966 paper published in the Journal of the American Statistical Association by John Gilbert and Frederick Mosteller they described a solution to a problem known as the "beauty contest problem". I'll describe the problem in my own words so it's relatable:
Suppose a girl is looking for someone to date and eventually marry, and suppose she wishes to choose the best mate. She must choose one man out of an unseen and unknown number of men. The men are presented to her, to see, one at a time in a random order, and she must choose or reject a man when he appears. Once she chooses, she will see the rest that she passed on, and she will be disappointed if her date is not the best. How can she pick the best man from the lot?
I'm assuming this sounds very familiar to both the men and women out there. I decided to use a girl in the description since we all know that girls are the ones that choose
In the paper, Gilbert and Mosteller prove that the optimal strategy is to "reject the first 37% of all the candidates, and then select the first candidate who is better than any previous candidate". They prove, mathematically, that you will choose the best of all possible candidates on average about 37% of the time. In plain English this means that a girl would have to reject the first 37% of all men she meets regardless of how great they are, and then choose the first man she meets that is better than any (not all) of the previous men she rejected.
You're probably thinking that a 37% chance isn't very good odds, but Gilbert and Mosteller prove that there are no other strategies that you can consistently follow that will increase your odds. That means their proposed solution is the best strategy to find your perfect match.
Depending on where you live you need to accurately estimate how many potential husbands you'll meet throughout your life. If you live in a small town maybe it's 10. That means you'd need to reject the first 4 men and the marry the first one that is better than any of the 4 you dated before. If you live in a larger city like New York or London things get a little tricky. Let's say that in a large city you're likely to meet 100 men that are husband material. That means you'd have to reject the first 37 men no matter how great they were.
In order to determine how "great" a candidate is you'd have to get to know all about them -- the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is required even though you're going to reject the first 37. That means you'll have 37 relationships before you can even consider getting married.
From this article in Psychology Today where I found this story they mention that because this strategy is mathematically proven to be optimal, it means that from an evolutionary perspective humans have evolved to use this strategy via natural selection (the best strategy to over time). They add that unconsciously all women should have evolved to reject the first 37% of their estimated number of potential mates, and choose the next best candidate.
So there you have it, the proven best way to date! Now get on Desi Spark and start putting this strategy to work!
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it " - George Santayana
Are you learning from your past experiences and applying it to your search for a matrimonial partner or date, or are you purging the memories and trying to start fresh?
It's common to have the desire to start a new relationship with a clean slate but pretending that you can just hit the reset button on your emotions and start the journey of getting to know someone without being somewhat jaded seems overly optimistic. Instead of ignoring the past and having it subconsciously guide your decisions it would be better to analyse past relationships and tease apart the good and bad from all of them. Taking that knowledge into future relationships will help you understand if you've found someone worth taking seriously (for matrimony or dating).
Don't be startled if you start comparing the new people you meet to those from your past. We tend to repeat patterns in our lives and by recognizing the positive and negative patterns you'll be able to decided if you should stick around, or move on.
Learning about what you want, what you thought you want and what you don't is an ongoing process. It can be difficult to make these decisions when looking for a matrimonial partner if you don't have a history to learn from but that's why it's even more important. In general people that are looking for matrimony understand that nobody is perfect whereas those that date are able to learn more about themselves but sometimes get confused with too much choice and unrealistic expectations.
Regardless of what you are looking for, remember to stop and think about the past instead of locking it up and throwing away the key -- otherwise you may end up repeating it.