I am a single woman in my mid 20’s looking for a long-term relationship. I have been using online dating websites and although there are many profiles that match my checklist, I am having trouble figuring out how I can know if someone is right for me? I find that some men using dating websites are just looking to have a good time and are using these websites to find girls to have fun with. I am not looking for a hook-up or a causal relationship; I would like to meet my future husband. Are there any signs I should look for in online profiles that would tell me if a man is not interested in a serious relationship?
Dear What Are The Signs,
It has happened to countless women; they met a man who looks great on paper only to realize that in the real world the person isn’t quite right for them. There are a number of reasons for this: sometimes it’s because a complete checklist doesn’t mean a chemistry will exist and the relationship can lack passion. Other times it’s because each individual has different expectations for the relationship, often the female wants a long-term relationship and the male is not quite ready to settle down. These realizations, that “your catch” isn’t all you thought it was, are difficult and frustrating experiences.
It can be challenging to figure out who the commitment-phobes are from their profiles but there are a few subtle warning signs. Firstly, does the profile place a lot of emphasis on the physical appearance of a potential match? I am realistic enough to appreciate that looks are important but people who are ready for a commitment know that looks fade over time and compatibility is very important to the success of a marriage. Secondly, does it seem the individual has put thought into their profile? If someone has completed a profile with very general short answers, it is likely this person is not serious about finding their ideal match and is probably just looking for a date or hook-up. Another warning sign can be the language used in the profile. Does the profile use the words “marriage” and “long-term”, or is the word “fun” used repeatedly? A person’s true intentions will infiltrate their language and writing.
In addition to looking for signs in profiles, there are other signals to keep in mind. Some websites, like Desi Spark, offer different “intents” such as matrimony or dating. You are much more likely to find someone looking for a long-term relationship in the matrimonial section of a website.
Most importantly, I would suggest that you follow your gut instinct. Even if none of the warning signs are present, a women’s institution is a powerful thing. If your gut is telling you that this person is not interested in the type of relationship that you want, then it’s best to move on – sometimes a girl has to kiss a few frogs before she finds her prince!